The Ghost of Griswold

On the Lighter Side ……………………… “The Ghost of Griswold

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Tracy and I made our annual trip to Ohio to see the kids, grandkids and some friends. We always celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and my son’s birthday during our seven day stay. This year was no different. It’s amazing how Tracy can shop for four kids, their spouses and eight grandkids and get everything done in one day. What’s amazing about it is that she actually finds gifts that people want. Of course she does give out gift cards to the four grandkids that are teenagers.

My special gift this year turned out to be a “Bobble Head” made in my exact likeness. It was given to me by my son Rhett. So, it’s only appropriate that he be the main character in this month’s Lighter Side opening to The Howl. Everyone seemed to think the bobble head looked exactly like me. It was actually pretty funny. I have it on my desk in my office to remind myself not to take me too seriously.

The Ghost of Griswold

Most of you probably remember the Christmas movies done by Chevy Chase. Well my intelligent son Rhett actually enacted a scene that could have been right out of that movie. What happened started off as an innocent simple Christmas task of getting his decorations down from the attic. Since Thanksgiving was over, his wife Brea decided it was now time to put up the Christmas decorations. Up in the attic my son Rhett climbed with all the confidence of a climber that had just conquered Mt Everest.

His attic space is more like a crawl space and it’s pretty crowed up there. He had done it many times before but this time while he was walking from cross beam to cross beam (his attic doesn’t have an actual floor) he noticed that the beam he was about to step on looked like it had a crack in it. In all his wisdom he concluded that stepping on a cracked beam was a bad idea. Thinking he was still in the same athletic shape that he was when he was twenty (he’s 32 now) he took a long stride to skip two beams and put his right foot on the third beam over. As he lunged to make that long stride he bounced up a little and his head scrapped a nail sticking down from the roof. That’s when the “Ghost of Griswold” took over. Imagine the following sequence of events in slow motion since it all happened so fast.

Rhett let out a blood curdling scream as the nail ripped his scalp and blood started running down his cheek. His right foot landed on that third beam but his left that followed missed since he was grimacing in pain. His left foot came down hard on the drywall that was actually the kitchen ceiling. It plunged through the ceiling like it was paper thin ice followed by his right leg and all 170 lbs of his entire body. He managed to catch himself with his upper body so he was only exposed from just above his waist to his wife and their two sons (Dillon and Riley) who had just sat down at the kitchen table to eat.

All three of them screamed as they looked up at the ceiling only to see this pair of legs kicking in every direction like they were riding a bike or climbing an invisible staircase. They could hear their Dad’s muffled cry --- “Help me – Help Me”. Riley the older of the two boys (4 years old) went running to his room and came back with his toy telephone. He was calling 911 on it and telling the operator that his Daddy had fallen through the ceiling. All the while insulation was floating through the air and the kitchen table was covered with dry wall dust. The kid’s food was covered with it.

“Help me! --- Help me! Damit” – Rhett kept yelling while his wife Brea ran around the kitchen having no idea what to do. Finally she climbed up on a chair ---- Picture this ---- She grabbed his left foot with her left hand --- his right foot with her right hand and tried to push a 170# grown man up and out of the hole in the ceiling. I wasn’t there but I crack up just imagining what it must have looked like.

She struggled and pushed. Rhett grunted and pulled – she struggled and pushed (sounds like giving birth) he grunted and pulled until he finally managed to get one leg back up into the attic so he could pull himself the rest of the way up. Brea said that when he finally came down the right way --- he looked like a victim in a Freddie Krueger movie. The side of his face was covered with blood from the nail hole in his head, both forearms were scratched and bruised and he had pink insulation all over his upper body. Both boys started crying until Rhett assured them that Daddy was okay. Once Brea was sure he was okay she couldn’t help herself and she burst out laughing. That only lasted a few minutes until she looked up at the gigantic hole in her kitchen ceiling and realized what it might cost to get it fixed.

We had the privilege of seeing the hole covered with a plywood patch about 48” by 48” before we left Ohio. It was hilarious listening to Rhett’s sister Heather tell the story to everyone. I think the family decided to give Rhett a new nickname. From this point on we are going to call him Griswold.

Finding Our Way

I admit that both Tracy and I are a little bit challenged when it comes to directions. That is why we both have a GPS system in our cars. You would think however that going home to a place you spent most of your life in would not require following someone to your destination. On Thanksgiving Day we were on our way to my kids Mother’s house as we have done every year of the eight years Tracy and I have been married. Judy, the kids Mother does a fantastic job fixing dinner for over 30 people which includes both sides of the family. I was following my Son in Law - Frank to Judy’s house and decided that he was going the long way. So….. I turned off to get on the interstate. Little did I know that the entrance ramps were all closed down due to construction. Anyway, 45 minutes later after getting lost and taking several detours we finally made it to Judy’s house. Of course during our adventure Tracy made several comments that questioned my intelligence but I know she loves me in spite of my being direction challenged. Once we arrived everyone else had some observation to make about me getting lost in my own home town.

Consequently, Tracy decided she would drive home after dinner. I wasn’t paying much attention during the drive home since she was following my daughter. She made a comment about Heather driving really fast in a residential area. I looked up from a book I was browsing and realized were doing about 65 mph. Just then my cell phone rang. Heather was on the line wanting to know where the heck we were. Tracy kept yelling; “Ask her why she is driving so fast.” Heather heard her and commented. “I’m only doing 35 mph. Where are you? I don’t see you behind me.”

I looked at the car in front of us and burst out laughing. We weren’t following the black Jeep Cherokee that my daughter drives, we were behind a black Chevy Suburban. Tracy didn’t think it was funny and she became even more annoyed when I told her we must have driven about 10 miles in the wrong direction. She didn’t trust my instincts and called Heather back to get directions on how to find our way home since we weren’t behind her. Everyone had a laugh over that one.

I hope everyone has a great holiday season. And ….. Remember no matter what, we all have a lot to be thankful for. I know I do.